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  • Rachel Saunders

Learning to Stand Alone

In recent weeks I’ve seen a couple clips of Brené Brown floating around my socials space. I love Brené so much, she has such a way with telling stories and collecting the data to explain why those stories matter. Something I’ve needed to hear beginning this year was her talking about braving the wilderness, of standing alone. Sometimes this is very necessary. And I struggle so much with the concept.


In the new year as I am working towards bringing myself further into a life of creativity, gentleness and love I find myself needing to stand on my own. To go my own way. Only you yourself can decide what is worth braving the unknown for. Many will tell you not to do it or tell you all the ways it won’t work.


And that is the thing, do they know what’s going on in your mind? Do they know the true and deep parts of you? Most importantly, do they have the standing to speak into your life? Sometimes it’s not so much people as expectations. General expectations from culture, from family, from religion. Things preprogrammed for you to follow.


I am still so terrified of standing alone. And I’m still gently working my way there.


I’ve talked about this a bit before but now it is about more than just being ok being alone in a social sense. It is about knowing what I want and need and going for it even when others important to me may advise otherwise. And, I dearly hope that those who are closest to me will know me well enough not to outright tell me I’m insane even if they disagree or advise caution.


It has taken years and I am still discovering myself in full technicolor. The nuance that is me. Today I have far more of a basis to go on for what I want or need and the continuing realization that my decisions are no longer so bogged down in the indecision minefield has been beautiful.


The biggest thing, this year, is that as I’m working towards a personal business and feeling out what works, I’m needing to purposefully stand alone to brave the wilderness. I need to rely on myself. Not that my people cannot or will not support me but that I must walk some of this alone, and that is OK.


My whole life I’ve sought people that I can connect with emotionally. To learn that standing alone is an integral part of being vulnerable is difficult. After my early years went by feeling deprived of emotional connection I’ve been very loath to leave the emotional warmth and love my life consists of today. I know I don’t need to go far and yet I think my inner child worries that the beauty I’ve found won’t be there if we leave it even for a moment. This is where I must trust both myself and my people.


So I will stand alone from time to time and trust that I will find the warmth of my community once again.


How are you braving the wilderness and standing alone? Let’s talk about it and the ways in which we can support one another!


PS. I've finally added my art of Biriyak to my website branding! Did you notice? I made the simplified art recently and am very proud of the results! Here is a comparison of my original art and the simplified for logo version:



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