I’ve been spending the last couple of hours trying to force a blog post out. I’ve got nothing. Well, nothing that is flowing would be more accurate. Or, nothing that translates well (or at all) from brain to page.
So, I’m going to simply say, don’t force it! This is true in a lot of things. And I’ve had to learn this lesson again and again and again. In art, in life, in writing. Basically in everything.
It is another way in which we can gaslight ourselves and our feelings. If we feel forced into making something happen maybe we don’t take the time we should to explore why we don’t want to do it because it is easier to force our way to the finish line. And that is definitely true.
I am afraid that I’ll simply give up my blog entirely if I don’t follow through on a post every week. In years past I’ve decided to take a break and then months later realized well, I never got back to that. Maybe it was ok, maybe not. I didn’t really explore how I felt because it was easier that way.
This year I’m trying to be more aware and I’ve realized that some of my feelings are based on needing to fulfill some undetermined criteria. Or, maybe, more accurately, opposing criteria.
Right now I feel I’ve gotten myself into a bit of pickle blog-wise. I’m so focused on making sure I’m writing from a “helpful” perspective that is more focused outward that I can’t seem to write that…at all. In looking to improve myself and my blog I’ve potentially given myself an impossible task. And thus, writing each week can start to feel forced.
I may also be in a bit of an emotional spot lately with really working with my inner child and allowing her to be more present. Which means that I’m very tender and raw. Which means that I judge myself more harshly, too. There are many things that I want to say and share that my protector parts are showing up for and saying, “are you sure??” And with little-me more front and center it is harder to say a whole-hearted “yes!”
This is why mental health is so important to the creative process, which I talked about in last week’s post, What is Holistic Creativity?
I know that practice in putting your thoughts out there is part of the practice but so is giving your inner selves space to exist and integrate.
Learning when it is forcing and when it is simply hard work takes time, effort, and commitment. And so, this post didn’t feel so forced and thus I will post this in hopes of continuing my commitment to my blog.
So, to all those out there who are forcing things, why? Do you need to?
An, of course it is up to you to determine all that for yourself. I’m simply giving my two cents based on my own experiences and thoughts.
with much love 💜
PS. Some flowers I saw at the park that one time and actually decided to take a pic!