Happier
In childhood I found
Others expectations
Hopes, dreams, ideals
Given, expectantly, to me
They gave
Because it’s what they knew
And what they felt
Would send me on my way
On my way to living life
Just the way I should
And I followed, willingly
Feeling that their love
Meant everything they gave
Would faithfully serve
I placed myself in the cage
Of hopes, dreams, ideals
That were not mine
I happily accepted
As my own
They are not at fault
Nor am I to blame
We never meant to hurt
Yet, to be free
We should admit
I must be the one
To set myself free
There is no cage
Only me, myself
I must choose
To live my life
Just the way I want
***
I was thinking today about how I have been the one who imposes upon myself. No one else gets that job. Sure others have stepped in, especially in formative years, but I am an adult, dammit! I get to make the call on what goes and what stays in my life. Not my family, my friends, nor my religion. Though, I do love my friends and family and am grateful to them for their opinions. Religion has been a mixed bag, though, God and I are working on it.
I’ve realized that I am the one that has accepted and put myself in all the cages I’ve found myself in. Sometimes it didn’t feel like it and, really, it was never intentional. It always felt like the right thing to do. And maybe it was, for a time. But I have a terrible habit of staying somewhere that is “comfortable” rather than moving into a new season when it’s clearly necessary.
I’m trying to get out of my own way and let myself live a happier and more fulfilled life.
with <3
—A Recovering Design Imposter